that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
