Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
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Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
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Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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