Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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