Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
