My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize