hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
