you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
accomplished twins. life is a go
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
