i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
