last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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