I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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