My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
