i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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