Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
