hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
