Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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