SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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