What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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