I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
