Is it because I queefed?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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