Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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