I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
