Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
