To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize