If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
