No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Send help, water and tortillas.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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