Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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