its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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