Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
