JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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