There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
