Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize