tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
