Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
