If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
