just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
