I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
