i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
