apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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