i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
