She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Randomize
