I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
