I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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