i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
