What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
