Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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