It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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