happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.