so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
