he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
