your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
