Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
