Umm I'm too high to move.
so let's talk penis.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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