Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
