Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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