Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
