Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
