someone get that fucking seahorse.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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