Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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