from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
