Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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