you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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