I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
