if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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