What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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