He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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