I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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